Freedom from Paralyzing Fear and Depression

For years I have felt oppressive forces working against me.  Many times like “black clouds,” they would descend on my head, covering me like a black garment as though triggered by some unknown reason. An example that describes how I felt is Jonah, how he might have felt in the belly of the whale with seaweed wrapped around his head.  Fear would grip me and I would do all that I knew to be free of this mental confusion, panic attacks and fear.  In an effort to find relief  I practiced being “very spiritual” studying and quoting the scriptures, this gave me hope but the oppression and depression would seem to be more aggressive and only went “underground” until the next episode.  

Circumstances that were out of my control seemed to be the right atmosphere that loosed those spirits against me. There were threatening and tormenting voices that would continually remind me, “You will lose everything you desire if you don’t stop talking about Jesus.” As a result of this fear many times I would develop attachments to things, people and habits to find comfort. These people and things began to control me. On the one hand I would try to get out from under their control but on the other hand I was afraid to let them go. These forces and the battles often were so intense I thought I would lose my mind and prayed to die to ease my torment.